


Never Alone

by GH_123



Series: Christmas Prompts [4]
Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21852187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GH_123/pseuds/GH_123
Summary: Another prompt request, I feel like I should apologise for all of this jarry spam. I have had way more prompt requests than I expected so I am desperately trying to stay on top of them.This is based upon this request:Sara:This request is not very Christmasy.. It could be brought up somehow something happens and James realising he needs to tell harry everything no more secrets.. New year.. Fresh start. One thing I wanted to play out on screen washow Harry would have reacted..how the discuss it deal with it together james reaction and feelings EtcHarry never knew about the full extent of the abuse james suffered in the hands of DM and mac he only knew about the emotional abuse he sufferedYou could include the storm week conversation and the voice mails they left each otherAlso how Harry was confused and shocked when James said he had A son.. James explain what happened that day.There was also someone that requested some missing fic scenes that I feel this covers quite well so this is a combination of both. I’m so sorry, I think I must have deleted your prompt by mistake and I have forgotten your username but this is for you as well.As always, really hope you enjoy :)
Relationships: James Nightingale/Harry Thompson
Series: Christmas Prompts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571641
Comments: 9
Kudos: 33





	Never Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Another prompt request, I feel like I should apologise for all of this jarry spam. I have had way more prompt requests than I expected so I am desperately trying to stay on top of them.
> 
> This is based upon this request:
> 
> **_Sara:_** _This request is not very Christmasy.. It could be brought up somehow something happens and James realising he needs to tell harry everything no more secrets.. New year.. Fresh start. One thing I wanted to play out on screen was  
>  how Harry would have reacted..how the discuss it deal with it together james reaction and feelings Etc   
> Harry never knew about the full extent of the abuse james suffered in the hands of DM and mac he only knew about the emotional abuse he suffered   
> You could include the storm week conversation and the voice mails they left each other   
> Also how Harry was confused and shocked when James said he had A son.. James explain what happened that day. _
> 
> There was also someone that requested some missing fic scenes that I feel this covers quite well so this is a combination of both. I’m so sorry, I think I must have deleted your prompt by mistake and I have forgotten your username but this is for you as well.
> 
> As always, really hope you enjoy :)

The dark, grey sky restlessly grumbled as another loud clap of thunder thudded overhead. The thick black clouds low as the heavy rain fell, pelting against the window of James’ apartment, the drops were so loud he could barely hear himself think. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear himself think, his thoughts currently far too dark they scared him. 

Harry, the love of his life had married another man just a mere few hours ago. He was truly heartbroken, he wasn’t sure if he had ever experienced heartbreak before but this was definitely it. That crushing feeling in his heart, the thought that his world was over and resting in the pit of his stomach. 

Harry had given him a chance, a voicemail left on his phone, letting James know that all he had to do was say the words and he would put a stop to the wedding, call everything off and simply be his. James hadn’t made it in time, by the time he had retrieved the voicemail it was hours too late. 

Even though he wanted to be with Harry, wanted to give him everything and love him with his whole heart, he had been preoccupied dealing with another revelation. Another event to happen today that totally crushed him and turned his world upside down. He had just discovered he was a father. The young man, who rivalled his height and stood before him just a mere few minutes ago was his son. His boy. His own flesh and blood.

He couldn’t think straight, the thought alone made him feel sick. Never did he think he would have to relive that night, relive a time in his life that scarred him deeper than one could ever imagine. Now, if he chose to be a part of his sons life, he had a constant reminder. He couldn’t cope with that, he couldn’t cope with any of the emotion he was currently feeling. 

After downing a few glasses of straight whiskey, James tried calling Harry back, hoping to catch him before he left for his honeymoon. He was hoping the weather may have slowed down their travel plans. It was a complete ramble, James didn’t know if anything he was saying made sense. He kept telling Harry how much he loved him, explained that the only reason he didn’t get to the wedding in time was because of the discovery he had made. In his head, what he was trying to articulate made much more sense that the words that left his lips.

“James! Let me in! James!” The voice calling him and the loud hammering on the door, stirred him from his slightly tipsy state. “James!” he recognised the voice as Harry’s. 

“I’m coming” he played around with the locks and chains, before opening the door to reveal a soaking wet Harry. Raindrops dripping from his hair that was currently flat to his head, his white shirt stuck to his skin and see through, James heart almost skipped a beat.

“It’s you. I choose you” James barely had time to respond before Harry crashed his lips on to his, he kissed him hard, with such an force that James stumbled backward and almost lost his footing. Despite loving every second of having Harry here, with his lips on his, James had far too many questions to allow the moment to carry on. 

“Harry” he mumbled into this kiss. “Harry, stop” he moved away gently, looking Harry up and down. “Why are you here?” he asked, almost dreading the answer. Was this just another way for Harry to get his kicks or did it mean something more? 

“I heard your voicemail. It sounds silly but it put everything into perspective. I can’t be without you. Ste knows everything. It’s you I want, just me and you” he reached down and took hold of his hand.

“Except it’s more complicated than that” James started. “I have...”

“You have a son?” Harry asked, he had heard the voicemail, he had heard the explanation given, only Harry found it hard to believe. James was gay, as far as Harry was aware he always had been. They had spoken about their pasts before, James opening up to Harry about the abuse he had suffered at the hands of his father, they had discussed real issues, deep and emotional, never once had James mentioned a woman. Never. 

“Apparently so” James shrugged. Harry saw something in his eyes change, a flash of panic, a glimmer of fear. 

“Hey, whats wrong?” Harry asked, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I can’t” James’ voice was quiet and weak, Harry never really saw him like this, he couldn’t even give him eye contact. 

“Hey” Harry took his index finger and tipped James’ chin up so he was looking at him. “You can tell me anything you know that, anything” Harry told him gently. Although James was in limbo over his son, seeing the concern etched upon Harry’s face, made James realise he wasn’t alone in this, with Harry by his side, he could get through anything. “How about I go and make us some tea and we’ll go from there?” Harry offered gently.

***

“I’ve never told anyone this before” James began slowly, it was true, the only person he had spoken to about the event was his mother and even she didn’t need as much of an explanation as Harry would. She had got most of the horrific details from Mac. 

“I have all the time in the world” Harry reassured him, gently placing his hand on James’ thigh, the simple touch was a comforting gesture. 

“I was sixteen” his eyes were already filled with tears and his bottom lip was trembling. “It was my birthday, my sixteenth birthday. I was just a kid” he sighed with despair. “Mac said he had got me a present, a present that would make me a man. I was so excited to get home from school and see what he had bought me. It was stupid of me really, but I really thought he’d put in some effort, that now I was that little bit older all the abuse would stop” a tear trickled down his cheek as he relived every moment, every emotion he felt. 

“James, you don’t have to...”

“I want to” he nodded as he swallowed the lump in his throat and wiped his tears away. 

“There was no gift. Not really” James shook his head, although this had been something he had never discussed, the memories were as clear as if they had happened yesterday. “He hired a prostitute, he told me I would become a real man. It was all some sick, twisted ploy to try and turn me straight. I told him no, I didn’t want to do it” more tears fell from his eyes. “I said no, I told both of them no, I can still see the look in their eyes, still hear their laughter. I didn’t want to do it Harry” his voice cracked as he spoke, shaking his head as if to erase the memory. 

“James, I’m so sorry” Harry’s voice was just a whisper. “I had no idea you went through all of all that, I had no idea it went that far. I’m so sorry.” Harry was crying now too, the fact that someone could subject their son to what James had gone through absolutely baffled him.

“She was disgusting” he sneered. “I can still smell the perfume on her skin, it makes my stomach churn. I had no idea that I got her pregnant, not until today” he let out a deep breath, he couldn’t begin to imagine how he would have taken such news if he had discovered that at the age of sixteen he was to become a father. It was hard enough to get his head around now knowing that he had a seventeen year old son. 

“What are you going to do?” Harry carefully asked. 

“I have no idea” he sighed. “I mean, me a dad, he’s probably better off without me.” James had never been dad material, he didn’t have that need or desire, that feeling was just completely alien to him.

“Whatever you decide to do, however involved your want to be, we can do this together. You’re not on your own James, you’ll never have to be on your own. Let me take care of you” Harry draped his arm over James‘ shoulder, his touch was so soft and gentle, it made James simply crumble, without warning sobs wracked his body. “Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay” Harry cradled ihim gently, pulling him in to his chest. 

Harry’s heart ached, James was by no means perfect, he knew just how irrational and hot headed he could be, but this was all a product of his childhood. When he let his guard down, when he felt secure enough to let someone in, he was just that little boy desperate for love.

“I love you so much” Harry whispered as he kissed the top of his head and held him tightly.


End file.
